November 8, 2018
Last night, Rick’s Pro Shop took center stage, in front of 40 thousand plus. Eager to see some of the greatest league bowlers take center stage. Luckily, leaguebowling.com stopped out to cover all of last nights league action, here is what she had to say:
We sat down with Rick and Patty Hartings earlier this afternoon. Last week Patty voiced her frustration with the team, while Rick was wrapping up his bender. Patty began, “I still go to the matches, all the fans around me are tossing shade at me. Like damnit, this ain’t right. Oh and to that old lady knitting that sweater last week in row 3, I’m gonna knock you out next week if you stand up and throw your bag of popcorn. I’ll take that sweater.” Rick’s Pro Shop went into the match, 0-16 for the 2nd Quarter, the fans were a little on edge.
Brad “Elf on the Shelf” Selhorst drove into the arena on his forklift. Carrying in toys for all of his fans. Selhorst even baked cookies for all of the children. What a fan favorite we have stumbled upon. Ol’ Stinky brought his bowling game to, firing a 606 series, and he also had his PS4 set up, and he won 4 team death matches on Call of Duty. We caught up with him, “Yeah bowled great tonight, but I was really impressed with my AR tonight. I could really pick guys off in the corners, good quality night for my gaming team.” Selhorst turned on the Christmas tunes, and put up the Rick’s Pro Shop Chirstmas tree, it was a beautiful scene.
Lee Keaser rolled into Pla Mor lanes with his shades on, this guy was cool. Lee Keaser pulled out his ball, and a vermin ran out of it. A fan yelled, “Its a rat!” Lee yelled back “No, rats are outside, mice are inside.” The fan yelled back, “But what if a mouse goes outside does it become a rat, and if a rat is in the house, is it a mouse?” Lee fired back, “I ain’t seen no mouse outside. That’s what I’m sayin’.” The fan was beside himself, saying, “Shit dawg, that’s some real shit right there.” Lee didnt have his best stuff last night, he got the shaving points critics off his back. We believe he shot a 539.
Jason Lefeld was in the house last night. Smoke was running a little behind last night. Lefeld had a WWE tryout match, and he unfortunately lost. A choke slam thru a table did him in. He had his face painted, and he wore a wicked costume. His ring name is “The Moth”. The guy wears wings around the wrestling ring, who wouldn’t want to smack him around. Jason struggled on the lanes because of it. When asked about the match, he replied, “I definitely let my wrestling career get in the way of my bowling career. I’m still scheduling a cage match for next week.”
Garrett Stout rolled in with his boombox on his shoulder, he was the man of the hour. Stout struggled to knock them all down, but his spare game was strong. G dawg finished with a 613. We caught up with Garrett to ask about his performance, heres what he had to say, ” Yeah I could sit here and tell you how I got screwed and all that mainstream bowler lingo. Bit ya know, I had a good night picking up spares, and I just need to stop leaving splits, the corner pins will fall. Plus you know I had a good weekend, I hung out with my good friend Phil on my bender Saturday, mom made meatloaf this week, and you know is my life really that bad? Hell naw mahn. G dawg looked confident in his game.
The fans however, weren’t having all this “positive thinking” bullshit. Rick’s Pro Shop is now 0-24 for the 2nd quarter. Let me tell you, there was a riot outside Pla Mor lanes last night. Trash cans were set on fire, the Rick Hartings gold statue out front was pushed over. The fans were hot. Patty Hartings got on the podium, demanding change. Good God almighty, see you guys in church Sunday.
Tune in next week as our legendary league season continues!
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